At Tomardo Entertainment we do a lot of weddings. We’ve seen… and done it all. However, there is nothing quite like dealing with a “Wedding Micromanager.”

What exactly does it mean to “micromanage?” Dictionary.com says to micromanage is “to manage or control with excessive attention to minor details.” It has negative connotations and implies that the person in charge, the “micromanager,” is unable to hand off responsibilities to another individual on the team. So much attention is given to overseeing the subordinates complete their duties, that it creates problems with the larger overall goal of the project. It may even result in the failure of the project.

So how does this relate to weddings? Most of our clients have seen us in action before hiring us. They liked how we handled the event and what they saw. That’s why they booked us! They provide us with an idea of what they want and then let us work our magic. The micromanager, however, can’t help themselves. They must micromanage! They’ve been planning their wedding for years and have a ton of ideas. They even go to wedding websites for even more ideas… then they send those ideas to us along with an excessive number of songs they saw on these sites. The truth is that there is only room for 40-50 songs at a wedding. Picking them all in advance is a recipe for disaster. We’ve seen it time and time again. It just doesn’t work.

This has been happening more and more, especially over the past decade. Social media and the internet allow future brides and grooms to access vast amounts of wedding information. However, couples should be realistic about how much of what they see online can be accomplished at their wedding. 

Please note that I’m not trying to shoot down all of your incredible ideas. Every wedding is different. The music playlist you spent hours on may not get people on the dance floor like you thought it would. Most seasoned DJ’s have developed a knack for reading the room and finding the perfect song to get people on the dance floor. If you pick every song, the DJ can’t do what they do best.

Here are some examples now of how micromanaging your wedding may keep you from getting the results you want.

• You pick a different song for everyone walking down the aisle for the Ceremony or Introductions during the reception.  The result? It might look good on paper but It’s a short walk down the aisle, and not everyone walks at the same pace. Songs are brief and barely get started before we have to move on to the next one. It creates a problem with the flow and will feel choppy.

• You send your DJ excessive amounts of requests, as opposed to favorite artists, genres, and a reasonable list of “must-plays.” The result? Picking all songs for your wedding will tie the DJ’s hands. They can’t play the songs that get people up and dancing because they’re too busy picking songs from your list. This will create flow problems during dance sets. There’s also a good chance you spent a lot of time making a list of songs that the DJ would play anyway. Keep your list to favorite artists, genres of music, and at most, 15 “must-plays.”

• You send a huge “do not play” list to your band or DJ. The result? Guests may not have as good a time or hear songs of their generation. Hey, It’s your wedding, and you should have music that you love. However, don’t overthink it or go crazy with a long “Do not play” list.

• You provide a very specific timeline detailing every minute of your reception. The result? Stuff happens. Weddings don’t always run on time. The wedding timeline you spent so much time creating will be amended… Guaranteed! We have a timeline that we use. It is tried, true and time tested. Again, don’t overthink it. Overthinking sucks the fun right out of a wedding. Even an experienced DJ will have problems keeping to a very detailed timeline. Do yourself and everyone else a favor… Keep it simple and use our wedding planner.
• You ask each guest to list a song they’d like to hear with every RSVP. The result? Don’t do it! Nothing good will come from giving the DJ a list of songs the guests want to hear.

The bottom line: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” If you hired great wedding vendors, Let them do… the voodoo… that they do… So well! Relax and take a breath. And just think about all the time you’ll save by not micromanaging!

Tom Biondi
“Tomardo Entertainment”